


I have lost myself again, lost myself and I am nowhere to be found

by justlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, Sad!Louis, artist!louis, artist!zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 08:14:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justlarry/pseuds/justlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis finds his muse on the streets of New York</p>
            </blockquote>





	I have lost myself again, lost myself and I am nowhere to be found

Louis had been stuck in a rut for too long. Way too long according to Zayn. To be fair, Louis did have a reason. His breakup with Aiden had not gone as smoothly as he had hoped. He needed someone to fit into his body, like the last piece to the puzzle that had been lost for so long, and Aiden wasn't that person. They differed in too many ways, Louis thought Aiden would understand. But when he talked about it to him, he wasn't as accepting as Louis thought. They had a screaming match for a night before Louis was kicked out. So now he spent most nights in the art studios, unbeknown to his friends or the studio manager. Sometimes he went to a flat he had rented out, but he didn't like it there. It was empty and cold, and there was no-one to cuddle up to in bed with. Even though Aiden had been 'the one', he was a source of warmth, and now he was gone, Louis was left alone in the freezing cold without a jumper.  
Louis sat in his art studio, staring at the blank canvas. Usually, he would be able to sit down and just start drawing whatever came to his mind, but everything was empty, including his inspiration.  
"Still nothing huh?" The voice startled Louis. He turned to see Zayn standing in the doorway.  
"Nothing," Louis sighed.  
"Deadline's soon."  
"Yeah, I know. How's yours going?"  
"I finished it, just now actually."  
"Can I see?" Louis tried to sound like he was excited, but honestly, he didn't need Zayn to rub things in his face.  
"Sure." Zayn walked down the corridor, Louis close behind him to his own studios. Louis admired Zayn's graffitied walls. he liked Zayn's room; it was messy, yet he knew where everything was. The walls were the best bit. There was barely an inch of blank space on them, yet Zayn still manage to fit more scribbles onto them. They were cartoon drawings of anything; quite a few of Louis, but most of them were just random thoughts from Zayn's head. There were some of Liam as well. "Here." Louis looked away from the walls and to the black paper Zayn held in his hand. It was a white chalk drawing.  
"Holy shit Zayn, that's amazing." Zayn had been drawing the same face for nearly three months, but this picture was by far the best. Louis traced the strokes lightly with his finger, careful not to smudge it.  
"Thanks. Do you think he'll like it?"  
"I'm sure he will." It's not that Louis didn't like Liam and Zayns's relationship, even he had to admit, they were perfect for each other. It was just that Louis wanted it. Louis wanted the happiness of falling in love, walking hand-in-hand with someone, being able to say I love you and actually mean it. Basically, he was jealous. So jealous. Zayn's phone started to ring from his pocket.  
"Hello? Hi Liam. Yeah, I'm great, at the studio with Louis. I'd love to go out later, but can you come here first, I have something i want to show you. Yeah, but this is special. Alright, see you later. I love you too." Tat's exactly what Louis craved. Love. A flame. Something to hold. Someone.

~~~

"Did Liam like the picture?"  
"Yeah, he said it was really good."  
"I'm glad he likes it."  
"You alright?"  
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna take a walk. Find something to draw. I don't know."  
"Yeah, sure." Zayn stood aside to let Louis out. Louis took only his blank canvas and a set of coloured pencils. He didn't know where he was walking. Even though he had lived in New York for nearly half a year since his scholarship, he hadn't really familiarised himself with the town. He turned onto a street he recognised and stopped as soon as he saw it. Not it, him. A boy. No, a man, standing on the steps of his favourite art gallery. Louis composed himself and walked a little further until he was close enough. He sat down on the side of the street, not taking his eyes off the boy sitting on the steps. He took out his canvas and set it on his knee. He studied the boy's features for a minute before sketching an outline onto the paper. The boy didn't move at all. He stayed perfectly still, perched on the fourth step. Louis was finished quickly. He looked down at the drawing. It didn't convey the exact angelic features of the boy's face, but it was good enough.  
"Hi." Louis' head snapped up to meet the eyes of this boy.  
"Hello."  
"Can I see your drawing?"  
"No, no."  
"Please? I was watching you. You looked really immersed in it."  
"I don't let strangers see my work."  
"I'm Harry, so we're not strangers anymore."  
"Louis."  
"Can I see?"  
"Alright, but just, be careful." The boy, no the man, he was taller than Louis even though he seemed younger, took the canvas carefully into his hands. There was silence for a few moments.  
"Wow."  
"Sorry, it's really creepy isn't it?"  
"I don't mind. It's really good."  
"It's only a sketch. If I had my other things, I could do it better."  
"Louis, it's really good. You're a good artist."  
"Thanks."

~~~

Louis didn't expect to see Harry again after that if he was quite honest. He didn't tell Zayn about him, he didn't want to be teased or anything. But he drew Harry. he drew Harry a lot. In fact that was all he drew. From their one meeting Louis had his image permanently etched into his mind. Zayn did eventually notice Louis' change in character, and how he hid away all of his drawings. So he resorted to finding out himself. Louis sat at his desk, pencil sketching Harry for the third time. He just couldn't seem to get the eyes right.  
"Ugh," he groaned scrunching the paper up and throwing it into the bin beside him before pulling out another sheet of paper.  
"So, this is who you've been drawing." Louis almost screamed in horror. He turned to Zayn, who was holding his portfolio and flicking through his recent drawings.  
"Zayn you scared the shit out of me."  
"Why didn't you tell me you met someone?" Zayn asked, ignoring Louis' comment.  
"I only met him once."  
"Well, you've drawn him about a hundred."  
"He's got a good face to draw."  
"Really, is that it?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean that if I was single-"  
"Zayn, I met him once. Yeah, he's nice, but I doubt I'll ever see him again."  
"What's his name?"  
"Harry."  
"Harry and Louis," Zayn mumbled under his breath.  
"Zayn, don't tell anyone about it, I don't want to come off as a creep." Zayn ignored Louis' comment again and stood still, staring at the picture in his hand.  
"Louis. This is amazing."  
"Which one?" Zayn held up the drawing. "Yeah, I like that one." It was Harry, of course, on black paper. Louis had only used two colours: white and red.  
"Show it to him."  
"What? I don't even know where he lives."  
"Well go back to where you met him before and show it to him, because if this doesn't get him then, fucking hell, nothing will."  
"Okay, alright. No need to swear."  
"Now, go find him."  
"Bloody hell, you want us together more than I do."  
"Louis, honestly, you like this guy, he probably likes you because he wasn't creeped out when you drew him before you knew his name. I want you to be happy."  
"Yeah, okay, I'm going."  
"Good, I'll see you later, Liam's?"  
"Yeah, okay."

~~~

Louis was still sceptical about Zayn's idea. Even if Louis did find him, what were the odds he was gay? And even more so, what were the odds he even liked Louis? Louis walked around the streets for a little bit until he saw the unmistakable curls he had been drawing for a week. He walked a little faster to catch up, but slowed to listen to his conversation with the girl behind him.  
"Harry, it's been a week."  
"Yeah, I know. but he was cool. I liked him."  
"Liked or like?"  
"Shut up Lou."  
"You've got a crush on him, he's probably got a crush on you, he drew you for god's sake." Louis couldn't hold in his gasp and Harry spun round immediately.  
"Louis?"  
"Hi."  
"This is my cue to leave. You boys have fun." The girl, supposedly Lou, skipped away happily.  
"What did you hear of that?"  
"Most of it."  
"Shit. Um it's okay if you want to go, honestly."  
"No, Harry. I'm going to take you to my studio and show you something."  
"What's that in your hand?"  
"You'll see when we get there." They walked to Louis' studios in slightly awkward silence. "Alright, promise not to be weirded out and leave?" Louis asked as they stood in his studio.  
"Promise."  
"Alright." Louis opened his portfolio and took out the wad of drawings. He took them out one by one and showed them to Harry.  
"Wow, these are so good."  
"You don't think I'm creepy."  
"Nope, I would have done the same, had I been good at art."  
"Phew."  
"What about that other one, in your pocket?"  
"Yeah, here." Louis handed the neatly folded paper to him and watched his face as he opened it.  
"Oh my god Louis. This is the best drawing I've ever seen."  
"Thanks."  
"Can I keep it?"  
"You can keep it."  
"It's so good Louis."  
"Thanks."  
"Can I take you out tonight?"  
"I'd love you to."


End file.
